Jess Lane: Comedian

arrestedwesteros:

GOB: Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand? I give you Barbara and Dee! Don’t worry. These young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

Making A Stand - 3x08

submission by Adam

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THE GUY FROM MISFITS WAS ON GAME ON THRONES!?!?!?!

Okay, NOW I have to watch this show. I GUESS. Pfffttt…

markdavidchristenson:

MISTER TOWN CITY IS BRINGING THE FUN TO HAROLD MATINEE THIS FRIDAY MAY 24TH ALONG WITH THE DELIGHTFUL WINSLOW!!!

Grab a reservation and don’t miss out on the fun!!!

http://losangeles.ucbtheatre.com/performances/view/27764

Oh have you seen my improv team? We are a lot of fun!

This is a photo of four guys on a tandem bike, right before four girls scooted up beside them on a tandem razor scooter and had the most fun they have ever had in the history of the world.

rookiemag:

A new TLC cover from Scoutt Niblet — plus an interview here.

kurtbraunohler:

I put a dumb sign up. #NoYouStop

David Cain, “Procrastination Is Not Laziness” (via pawneeparksdepartment)

This totally justifies every excuse I’ve been giving myself from not doing that thing I’m supposed to do.

(via aaronmoles)

OH MY GOD. How have I never seen this before?? THIS IS SO FREEING. I had no idea. I have never had this thought before. I thought I was lazy. But no, this is correct! MY STUPID SELF-WORTH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. Yeah I barely have any of that shit. Now, now I can do something now. Jeez louise. HAHAHAHAH!

I left this in my drafts folder for 2 years. I didn’t remember it was there.

“I found this when google searching my own name about a year ago I guess.

There are people out in the world who think I’m famous, or funny, or talented, or a good writer, or a good actress, or hot. And sometimes these people contact me and let me know how funny (or hot) they think I am. And sometimes they don’t contact me, but they do this instead.

I never respond to let them know how creepy I think they are.”

williebhines:

gilmoregurlz:

kpartyawesome:

theworstroom:

Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. $600.00

“special deal only for someone with a cat”

“we want to make sure the cat is a good fit as well”

We want to make sure the cat is a good fit as well

We want to make sure the cat is a good fit as well

we want to make sure the cat is a good fit as well

My cat wants to make sure you are a good fit as well.

UH, HELLO! IT WOULD BE A DREAM TO BE LOOKING FOR A ROOM AND YOU HAVE A CAT AND NO ONE EVER WANTS YOU TO HAVE ANY PETS AND YOU’RE SO SAD THAT MAYBE YOU HAVE TO GIVE YOUR CAT TO YOUR MOM BECAUSE THERE ARE NO APARTMENTS WHERE YOU CAN HAVE A CAT AND THEN YOU FIND THIS PRETTY DECENTLY SIZED ROOM THAT EVEN HAS **A WINDOW**?!?!  AND IS ONLY $600 **AND** THEY WANT ME TO BRING **MY CAT**!!!!!!????? I’m moving in.

Just because some dude lives in this room and has no posters and an ugly bedspread and this picture was taken at night does not make this a bad room. Seriously, someone move in. I HOPE YOUR CAT LIKES THE OTHER ROOMMATES!

barbaragray:

liezlwashere:

Union Square, Manhattan. $1000.00

“I am looking for someone to move into a large closet space in one of the three bedrooms of my apartment. The bedroom has two closets but there is no need for it so we are looking to sublet it as a living space to a 4th roommate. The closet is about 5 feet wide and 7 feet long. It has no windows and think it would be ideal for a twin size bed and small night stand.”

“Amazing Location”

(via theworstroom)

This blog makes me so incredibly thankful to live in Los Angeles

When I was living in Gowanus, my roommate volunteered to move into the closet, which already had a lofted bed-shaped area for some reason, and then he sublet his bedroom, LIKE A REAL ADULT WOULD DO. You can’t ASK a person to live in a closet. Also, he only paid $200 to live in that closet because, HELLO COME ON.

stophittingyourself:

Two banana peels.

I was going to say that I saw this video three years ago, but it was actually this video that I had seen: http://youtu.be/_ZeSxGYCDTk

rookiemag:

Watch Me Now

Movies/TV shows that demand your attention.

WHAT! I was just talking about this show all day! (Pretty Wild) Because of Videogum’s post last week. Credit where credit is due.

kellyqehudson:

sarahrainone:

chrisreblogs:

theangeladee:

halphillips:

eroto-thanatos:

spacemarineloincloth:

oftheforest:

anagrammaton:

cunninglanguage:

tittybasket:

anagrammaton:

mermaid-vision:

“Then they would go out to eat.” I’m hoping this is either actually food or an allusion to head.

“There were two more entries.”

‘A manticore is a horrid monster having a man’s face, the body of a lion, leathery bat wings, and a tail ridged with spikes’

uh?????

“His fingers dug hard into her arm, expecting an answer.” GoT was not a good choice of book to determine anything about my sex life. Especially not when pg35 is full of Targaryens.

“A thin whisper of sound passed the broken mouth, forced out on a last puff of breath.” …………..well.

… … … … you wanna swap books? i wanna read what you’re reading.

WAIT THAT’S SOMEONE DYING I THOUGHT IT WAS SEX

Kind of maybe cheating since mine was a graphic novel (Perselpolis by Marjane Satrapi which YOU SHOULD REALLY READ):

‘Can you help me lace my shoes?’

Legit.

Perselpolis is fantastic btw

“At times she would come with me after work to a British-style pub called Dawson’s where ad men, travel agents and bankers hung out, and often she picked up a little Male something for herself, too.”

“Claiming that I had been slandered, I asked for an apology and a retraction of the false stories which all the press of Germany had copied, but I was simply laughed at for my trouble.”

Um …

“Then he goes back to sleep.” Sounds hot.

“The results strongly confirm the conclusions I have reached, by other means, about the etiology of depression.” So… this is bad, right?

“It is rumored among the brave and foolish who speculate on such matters that she may be as old as fifty.” …. Posted without comment.

“The weight should be born equally in the front and back leg.”

“NO!” :((((((((

Hey guys, what the fuck is a book?

theidiotking:

“Could I BE any more of a sign on a tree?”

Just scrolling through my likes and re-laughed out loud at this. WHY NOT SHARE THE WEALTH?

UH I’M PRETTY SURE THIS SCREENPLAY IS VERY CLEARLY TITLED!!!!

This is a good one.

http://hellogiggles.com/gloria-steinem-comes-to-kim-kardashians-rescue, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/11/gloria-steinem-kim-kardashian-body-_n_3060885.html (via rubestar)

So the thing about those open mics that I didn’t even get into because it made me hear red and see war sounds was how one guy at the end of his set started talking about how his buddy’s girlfriend had ‘cried rape’ on him and cost his buddy all this money in legal fees but how she got away scott-free for ‘lying’ and how she should be punished for it? Obviously that was the part of the night where I was just responding OUT LOUD ‘NO.’ ‘No.’ NO!’ to his every point (usually I seethe with rage, but wait until I have the stage to speak, but this put me over the edge). Ultimately he wrapped up this last ‘joke’ by saying that ‘all lawyers were feminists because of that bitch Gloria Steinem’ because of his friend’s ‘situation*’ and um.

THIS STUFF ISN’T RARE. THESE HORRIBLE OPINIONS ARE EVERYWHERE AND IT IS THE WORST.

Joe Stanton got up and owned him on that last point, but holy fucking shit, you guys. We’ve got so much work to do.

(via khealywu)

One time at an open mic in LA a “comic” kept making jokes about Chaz Bono and kept calling Chaz a “she”… He was not being “ironically sexist”… I can tell the difference. This was some old man who was clearly spewing hate. I spoke up from the back of the room and corrected him “HE!”  every time, and I think at one point I sarcastically started clapping? I heckled the shit out of this guy because FUCK THAT GUY.

Katey: for the most part, open mics in LA are generally tolerant and no one gets away with that shit, but I think LA mics are more “Alt Comedy” friendly…

studiosixty:

davidseger:

Car-Jumper Ep 7 - Behind the Scenes Go Pro Shot

So when we did the one-shot episode of Car-Jumper, BK clipped a Go Pro onto his Glidecam rig and pointed it back at himself, I think to prove that we did it all in one shot. It turned out pretty neat, so I did a little split-screen with the episode. You can see fun stuff, like Alex trying to flag off the screen for BK or me bumping into BK, screwing up the shot. Neat!

The most amazing five minutes of video produced in the last month gets even more amazing with this behind the scenes go pro shot. Again, kudos to all involved.

AMAZING

khealywu:

williebhines:

mikescollins:

anthonyking:

thatbirch:

thatbirch:

I hear Will Hines singing songs to my baby on internet radio most mornings and I finally recorded one of ‘em for all of us to enjoy.

Thanks, Will!!

Will sang this song to my daughter again this morning.
I’m not complaining.

Imagining this is Will Hines singing is one of the funniest things I’ve ever asked my brain to do. Thank you Birch.

I genuinely cannot stop laughing.

this is the strangest thing i have seen on tumblr

‘I CAN’T HEAR IT WHAT’S THE JOKE FUCK YOU FOR CHANGING THE AUDIO PLAYER TUMBLR!’

- my actual, all the time internal dialogue.

FREDDY FLOP? IS THAT YOU? http://ny.channel101.com/view.php?epid=1

You should be following “Yo, Is This Racist?”.

paulytamale:

I’ve got a show in over at Channel 101 on Saturday called WATCHES. See you there!

Paul forced me to wear funny glasses and act in this show. Then he screencapped me doing something weird with my mouth. I GUESS YOU SHOULD GO SEE THIS SHOW. WHATEVER.

I am wearing my new favorite t-shirt in this show, so go see it for that.

As a performance artist and futurist there is one thing that I have learned while working at the “IDEA” COMPANY - IGNORANCE ISN’T BLISS and we are all ignorant. Our Facebook machines help our faces get liked, a thumbs up for your thoughts as your brainspace is auctioned off to the retailers.

Your vintage suspenders aren’t holding up your personality. Your cat-eye frames can’t make you see that you’re a corporate slave. Tiny hats, hammer pants, frontless shirt, ironic cat. Go jump off a bridge, because there was an ad for it on YouTube.

thedailywhat:

Artsy Fart of the Day: Bubble Wrap Portraits

New York-based artist Bradley Hart meticulously injects acrylic ink into sheets of bubble wrap with syringes. After the injections are complete, he wipes away the leftover drips from the back side of the plastic, revealing an impressionist style piece. Hart’s work is being exhibited at Gallery Nine5 in Manhattan through March 29th, 2013.

I mean, this is NOT what “impressionist style” art is… this is photo-realistic portraiture in the style of Chuck Close, but inside of bubble wrap. But I don’t expect EVERYONE who works at the Daily What to have gone to art school I guess.